Well my baby boy is officially 3 months..and I have officially survived the fourth trimester.. Now, I know what you are thinking..wait there are 4 trimesters..YES, the 4th trimester is the 3 months postpartum period that gets swept under the rug by most people. But, us MOMS know what it is. I decided to talk about the three main take aways from my fourth trimester with hopes of inspiring the next mom and letting her know its okay to still be figuring it out during the first 3 months.
- PROTECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH! Postpartum Depression & Baby Blues hit hard during these months and it gets REAL!
- It’s okay not feel like yourself at first or get back into your normal routine. RELAX! you just birthed a whole little HUMAN.
- It’s okay to miss your Pre-baby life. You are HUMAN and it doesn’t make you a bad mom.
Protecting your Mental Health is important. Some women tend to fall into postpartum depression and don’t even know it. Your body and life just went through a whole transition. I know for me personally, I developed a sense of the baby blues with a little depression. I honestly am still dealing with these emotions. I would sometimes cry and couldn’t tell you why. I knew something was off and I wasn’t feeling like myself. When it comes to the baby crying and restless nights, it can add up. SEEK HELP. Talk to your doctor. I know at every one of Amirs appointments his doctor always asked me How I was doing? Was I adjusting okay? More importantly, she was a woman of color and understood that we black women suffer from Postpartum depression and remain silent during it. As a community, we already lack taking our mental health seriously. It is definitely about the same after having a baby. So, if you are not feeling like YOU, seek help, be vocal. Please don’t suffer in SILENCE.
Now, for me, I am so used to being in a routine with things that I didn’t realize having a baby it would go out the window. We would eventually get into a routine that works for me and amir but at first, it’s all about him. So my advice, take things slow. In the first 2 months, your baby will be waking up so much that a routine is pointless. I know I had so much I wanted to get done with this blog launch and getting back to interviewing that I had to realize that its okay to take a pause. Everything that I want to do will be there when its time. I also had to realize that my sleep was more important than anything else. We don’t realize in order for the baby to function well, mom needs to be functioning well. So, get your sleep when you can. Don’t worry about that routine. You can create it once the baby is sleeping more through the night. Also, something I lacked was asking for help, Never think anything is wrong with asking for HELP.
Lastly, I had many days and nights where I would reminisce about my pre-baby life. Times where I was able to eat without holding a baby or not taking turns eating. (Amir somehow has superpowers and even if he is sleep, he knows when its times for us to eat and he becomes alert and wants to be held) I sometimes feel guilty thinking about those times. But, I am here to tell you DON’T! Tell myself DON’T as well. It is okay to revisit her. Motherhood is tough and it easy to lose yourself. I notice that sometimes I am so in mommy mode I forget to take some time for myself. Get back to doing things I really enjoyed. SO, no it’s not a bad thing to revisit your old self. At the end of the day who you are now and who you were before is shaping/molding you into becoming the BEST version of yourself.
I wish we normalized talking about the 4th trimester more. Moms suffer a lot during it. It is a crucial time. We are stepping into a new chapter, season BASICALLY we have been rebirth and we are relearning ourselves and our little person. I don’t care what anyone says after you give birth your life is changed forever in a GOOD WAY! You are changed forever. So, don’t forget during the 4th trimester to also take care of SELF. In the long run you will thank yourself and so will your little one.
How was your fourth trimester? What helped you get into a routine of becoming a mommy? I would love to hear your stories!